My nose desperately wants to protect me. Somewhere in my brain, a half dozen nerve cells flicker in appreciation for its dedication.

The rest of my brain would give anything to turn down its services between the hours of 2 and 7 AM.

Look, nose, I’ll cut you a deal. I’ve got a plane to […]

Because there definitely wasn’t room to spell my whole name.

What, too many political entries lately? Please forgive me. I’m from Kentucky. My presidential vote has never mattered before. Tomorrow I actually get to count, and it feels good.

If pop stars singing a stump speech isn’t…substantive enough for you (sheesh, you people with your “standards” and “analytical minds”), then maybe some […]

Over the course of an election season, presidential candidates must get their hair cut at least, what, a handful of times.
Working backward:

American popular opinion is driven by the media.
The media is dominated by image.
A candidate’s appearance is their primary image.
A candidate’s appearance is, briefly, under the complete control of the person who cuts their hair.

Somewhere […]

From the Washington Post:

The potential for superdelegates to play a critical role has some party leaders worried that the situation could lend the appearance that the nominee will be selected by insiders rather than by rank-and-file voters.

“Could lend the appearance”, eh? Damn straight it could lend the appearance. One might even say that […]

Good call on moving your primaries earlier! Not like those loser states that vote after Super Tuesday. Those states don’t even matter. Suckers.

No longer allowed: calling theater “the work”.
As in, “I know you’re having a rough day, but it’s time to leave the baggage at the rehearsal room door…let’s stay focused on the work, okay?”
It’s just pretentious. The only reason you do it is because you’re unsure that what you’re doing qualifies as work. Look, […]

Okay, I know I’m supposed to be cynical about these sorts of things, but this is pretty cool: